Yes, I have grown (well, not in a literal sense, I am still not the tallest :D). I have grown mentally. Does that mean I have everything figured out? Of course not! The thing I realized is exactly that: that no one really has anything figured out. Maybe they tell it themselves to feel better, but in the end, we are all just trying. And that’s enough and should be enough. Giving your best is the best you can do. Not trying, that’s a mistake.
Chill bro – calm down
Lately, I was in many situations where I had flashbacks to the past. I compared the way I am reacting and feeling now in certain situations to how it was a few years ago. I wasn’t an easy person a few years ago, I was unpredictable and you had to be very careful what you say to me and when. It’s not like I am an easy person now, but I have improved in certain areas and I am generally just much more chill (at least that’s how I see it).
The thing is I just have fewer situations that make me feel uncomfortable and that makes me feel much better in general. Getting out of your comfort zone makes your comfort zone bigger over time. I can confirm that from my POV. Are there still situations that make me feel uncomfortable? OF COURSE! But I know myself much better now and I know how I should handle certain situations in my head.
The challenges keep coming
I am 25 currently, and if I think back there was no year in my life where I didn’t face a big challenge. For as long as I can remember I always had something feeling weird inside… This year I think was the first year where I started feeling generally okay with myself (truly okay, not just pretending because I was a very good pretender). I should get an Oscar for that: And the Oscar for playing the happiest guy at the party but actually being the most depressed one goes to …….
And I am not sharing this story to show off or to make you feel pity. I remember exactly how I felt in those bad times and what helped me the most were people who understood me and listened to me. I am 25 now and I don’t think I will ever truly grow up. Parents are just children having children, remember this sentence too.
Change of perspective
Currently, I am still facing a lot of challenges, but I just approach life differently in general. I understood what’s important to me (or at least I think I know). If you know that, everyday life gets much easier. You don’t have to think a lot about your choices, you know where to put your energy in and you set lines for people how you expect them to treat you.
I would consider myself one of the nice guys and there was also a phase in my life when I was maybe too nice. And nice people do get stepped on. I was in many extreme phases especially the past 6 years and I guess that’s the one thing I learned that helps… Balance!
Hey there, it’s me!
I’ve changed so much in the past 6 years. I remember doing this thing when you compare yourself with you 1 year ago. There was never a time where I thought I am still the same. But at the same time, this year I felt for the first time: yes, I am becoming and being the person I wanna be and I think for the first time I truly felt self-worth. Looking back I don’t think I ever had a lot of self-worth… And that’s really one of the key things you should work on! Are you really okay with yourself? Do you really like yourself? Do you have regrets or do you accept what you did? In my head, I had to overcome a lot of hurdles and accept a lot of things about myself. Does that mean I am not going to change? No! It means I know who I am and I know where I wanna go.
I don’t really know what the message of this post is or should be. I guess I just needed to get these thoughts out of my head 😉 Leave me some comments though!
Nice article! 🙂
I have a question about this part:
“…truly okay, not just pretending because I was a very good pretender). I should get an Oscar for that: And the Oscar for playing the happiest guy at the party but actually being the most depressed one goes to…”
Reading this, I ask me: Why people are pretending bad feelings or depressions? Why do we try to be play the happiest guy when we aren’t it?
Is it self protection? To avoid critical or violating questions of the friends?
-> what do you think?
I was totally in the same situation in the past.
There is a difference between us: I wanted also to play the happiest, but I was not able to play it….my friends or family always found out that there was something strange with me in this moment…so my strategy was to avoid people….always with the target to avoid that something can “see” my bad feelings….
Why people are pretending bad feelings or depressions? Why do we try to be play the happiest guy when we aren’t it?
Is it self protection? To avoid critical or violating questions of the friends?
-> what do you think?
Well, exactly because of all the things you are saying. For me it was for one conscious reason: I didn’t want to be a burden to others and I didn’t want to be another problem in their life but instead someone that brings them joy, even if I was not fine. And I also think subconsciously I played the happy guy to make myself believe it. You basically try to hide the problems even from yourself.
This were the 2 main reasons for myself, but I guess as with many things in life it depends on the situation of the person. But you are asking the right questions 😉
Human brain remains interesting! 🙂
I think there is SO much personal growth that goes on in your 20s…think about it, at 18 or so most people leave home for college or work, and are confronted with the reality that other people and families are actually very different and their family home might not have been the “right” way to do things. If you are a person with a growth mindset who wants to identify your weaknesses and work on them, then you will grow and learn and decide what you want to keep from the patterns and habits you were shown and developed during your childhood.
I think it’s great that you have seen so much personal growth in the past five years and especially in the area of relaxing/chilling out – I think that’s a hard skill to develop because it requires a huge shift in mentality.