This is a topic I have very strong feelings about. But before I jump into my thoughts, this is the official definition of “hope” on the Cambridge dictionary:
to want something to happen or to be true, and usually have a good reason to think that it might
What does hope mean for you? What do you think about when you hear that word? Do you relate it to religion?
I don’t like hope
Well, when I hear the word hope, I mostly have a negative reaction to it… let me explain why. Hope to me comes usually out of a place of being desperate. You don’t know how to solve a problem or you feel like you are out of control of a situation and you say: let’s hope for the best!
Let’s stick with this example for now. I don’t like this sentence, because when you say let’s hope for the best to me implicates that you probably didn’t do your best to prepare. Let’s not hope, let’s put the effort in to make sure that it will be the best! That’s the way I think, I don’t hope for some miracles to happen, I don’t hope that something will go well… I work for it and you can too.
Put in the work
Don’t get me wrong, I am not a GaryVee, but do you even know how much you can do to make your own life better? It all starts with the mindset. If in your mindset you think, yeah nothing I can do about it… let’s hope it will go well… Change that! Try to think, what else could I do? What is in my control? This goes back to my stoicism article. Don’t focus on what you can’t control, instead focus on the things that you CAN do. This is such a basic thought, but it really can change your perspective on the world and situations. If you feel like a victim all the time, you might focus too much on the things you cannot control.
Sooo, this is what I relate hope too.
Am I a pessimist?
But Sirio, if you don’t hope, does it mean you are a pessimist? No. Just because I don’t hope, doesn’t mean I can’t have a positive outlook on things! I put in the effort, I did everything I could to make it go well, so I am sure it will. And if not I will learn what to do better next time. Does that sound pessimistic? No right? It’s a win-win in the mind and in real life!
Let’s think about another example. What if you are really in a situation where you have no control over it… Like a very deadly illness. The sentence already said it, it’s not in your control. The trick is, accepting the things that are out of your control and making the best out of the situation. Go to doctors, focus on yourself, enjoy the time you have left! Actually, I already think of this every day… Everybody here on earth will die one day. So, make the best out of the time that you have here! Don’t hope, take your life into your hands and make it spectacular.
Ooh, you really flipped the general perspective on hope. I usually think of it as a light at the end of the tunnel for a situation that isn’t my fault (eg. Covid), but I think it’s useful to look at it from your angle. I definitely agree that you should be focusing on what you can control and (ideally) ignoring the things you can’t. Like instead of talking about hope, talk about an action plan to get yourself out of the situation. Good food for thought.
Yeah, that’s what you usually think of when you hear hope, something positive. But in my experience hope comes from a desperate place and I think you need to differentiate between hope and a positive attitude 🙂